My Father’s Code for the Road and ‘Good List’

7.9.24
Hi Daniel.
 
You asked me to tell you how I cope. Here are some general thoughts and specifics in response:
 

Our Code for the Road: Be Well. Take Care. Do Good. Give Thanks. Enjoy. (LOVE.)
 
 
Specifics:
 
Preventive maintenance. don’t wait till you’re thirsty to dig a well or find other helpful sources; good to be regularly aware of relevant changes….)
 
Preparation, especially support systems.
 
Boundaries. Set limits. 
 
Know when and how to say to say no (ensure you get the oxygen and resources you need).
 
Have values and principles that guide you.
 
Hope .
 
Honesty (to myself and others).
 
Time/contact with loved ones.
 
Self-motivation.
 
Self help.
 
Asking for help.
 
Self-soothing. 
 
Protect yourself and others as well.
 
Relaxation.
 
Leisure time.
 
Music. Guitar, harmonica.
 
Singing.
 
Enjoying nature.
 
Animals; Pets.
 
Combinations of coping methods, hybrids (ex. Walking with a caring person in nature).
 
Helping others. 
 
Go where the going is good.
 
Rest.
 
Exercise regularly.
 
Balance.
 
Eat well. Energize.
 
Hydrate well and regularly.
 
See a bigger picture, a bigger (better) space.
 
Take a longer view (take time).
 
Adjust (make adjustments).
 
Patience.
 
Work.
 
Writing, songwriting, poetry…
 
Family.
 
Friends.
 
Love.
 
Love more.
 
Self love.
 
Spirit (connect, cultivate).
 
Connectedness/connecting.
 
Community (ies).
 
Breathing. 
 
Fresh air.
 
Sunshine (with limits).
 
Meditation.
 
Creativity.
 
Imagination. 
 
Thinking out of the box.
 
Working out of the box.
 
Seeing beyond (beyond what’s there, visible, and beyond the beyond).
 
Philosophy (apply it; evolve my outlook, mindset).
 
Clear-mindedness.
 
Regular maintenance (physical, mental, emotional, social, environmental, spirit…).
 
Relationships.
 
Outreach.
 
Be Positive.
 
Be Constructive.
 
Question and challenge myself.
 
Advocate for myself and others.
 
Get inputs and feedback from others.
 
Identify and address blind spots when needed. 
 
Practice coping.
 
Kindness (to myself and others).
 
Take care of myself and others.
 
Minimize media.
 
Avoid substance abuse or misuse.
 
Damage avoidance damage control. 
 
Planning. 
 
Doing.
 
Repairing.
 
Believing. In myself and the universe. 
 
Believing in others. 
 
Belief(s) (connectedness, repair).
 
Faith. For example, in the connectedness of the universe, and sentient beings, and the power of repair and love; helps in dealing with things that there are no clear/scientific/certain answers for).
 
See beyond the moment and immediate future and surroundings.
 
Quiet.
 
Party.
 
Excitement, animation, passion.
 
Calmness.
 
Touch.
 
Listening.
 
Talking.
.
Use my olfactory organs (and old factory ones as well).
 
Hugs and other physical, emotional and mental interactions.
 
Pleasant and productive helpful memories.
 
Healthy routines.
 
Good Habits.
 
Take a break, vacation or a nap.
 
Road trips (short and long ones).
 
Exploration.
 
Discovery.
 
Learning.
 
Matching methods with specific situations.
 
Resource development.
 
Meaningful and other useful work.
 
Purpose development.
 
Meaning development.
 
Shift perspective and move from coping to striving and developing opportunities to grow.
 
Have fun.
 
Work with my hands.
 
Hard work.
 
Smart work.
 
Quick work.
 
Volunteering.
 
Minimize media.
 
Meeting new people. 
 
New places.
 
Acceptance.
 
Fight (retreat).
 
Timing (Know when to do what and how and when not to).
 
Channel and deal with emotions.  
 
Manage situations and solve problems when needed and possible.
 
Expand the canvas. Add new elements. Counter dark with light.
 
Be proactive.
 
Contemplate.
 
Identify and develop alternatives and opportunities.
 
Understanding.
 
Acceptance.
 
Letting go (knowing when and how).
 
Forgiveness.
 
Compartmentalizing.
 
Prioritizing.
 
Recombobulating.
 
Actualizing.
 
Visualizing. 
 
Advancing (moving beyond). 
 
Navigating.
 
Star gazing.
 
Recognizing there’s no end.
 
Treats and goodies.
 
Changing.
 
Walking.
 
Walking away/walking toward.
 
Emergency response/911.
 
Running away.
 
Escape.
 
Praying.
 
Playing / playfulness.
 
Humor.
 
Gratitude.
 
Giving myself and others space (latitude). 
 
Get away from echo chambers. 
 
Giving.
 
Helping others. 
 
Empathy.
 
Social interaction. 
 
Understanding.
 
Dancing.
 
Trust but verify when necessary or desirable.
 
Trust my instincts. 
 
Trust my experience (and keep an open mind).
 
Partnerships.
 
Supports.
 
Asking for help.
 
Herbal tea.
 
Ambition.
 
Forward motion.
 
Healing (Self-healing, healing others, caregiving.)
 
More love.
 
 
 
Love you always,
 
Dad
 
 
 
 
 
 
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